Monday, May 21, 2007

south korea to be renamed "terran confederacy"




do you know who she is? (hint: she is not me 4 years from now.) i don't know what her name is, but on pcgamess.com, it says she's one of the best professional starcraft players in korea, which probably means she's one the best in the entire universe. now i just need to find a country where they live and breathe 'alchemy' on yahoo games. and since we all know that i'm the alchemy champion (board cleared in 1:19, impressive i know), i would easily become an obsession there!

on saturday, blizzard entertainment officially announced the current development of starcraft 2 at thier worldwide invitational held in seoul (obviously). according to the AP, an estimated 35% of south korea's population is considered "gamers," many of them very familiar with starcraft and several of them now dead from game-addiction/overplaying (i'm totally serious). here is a brief timeline of what to expect from now:
  • may 2007: blizzard announces starcraft 2 in seoul. south korea implodes with joy. blizzard does not announce specific release date.
  • june 2007: korean government funds project to create time machine to teleport koreans into future, find out release date, and possibly procure a copy of starcraft 2.
  • later 2007: mission fails. several koreans killed in the attempt. handful of anxiety/depression suicides also occur from failure to wait until next year. national holiday instituted to commemorate dead.
  • sometime 2008: blizzard finally announces release date and price. koreans implode with more joy. release date is instituted as national holiday called "starcraft 2 release date."
  • shortly after in 2008: starcraft 2 released. koreans implode even with more joy. seoul hosts starcraft parade on this glorious holiday.
  • later 2008: consequential deaths follow from game-addiction. tragic news for the country.
  • 2009: 8 year old korean boy hailed as new starcraft champion and prodigy. koreans elect him as president. south korea renamed to "terran confederacy" (or something like it).
  • 2013: starcraft prodigy-king-president dies from game-addiction. koreans mourn, institute new holiday in his name.

am i going anywhere with this? i have a 20 page paper to write on farm subsidies due in 2 days or something. i'm just going to draw 20 pictures of cows and pigs and turn that in.

1 comment:

felton said...

ROFL, I TOTALLY SEE THAT HAPPENING. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK BRO, AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR REPORT.