things that happen in my alternate universe.

i got this email about an hour ago from a harvard kid who i don't know:

BTW, you won't guess who dropped by literally FIVE minutes after you guys left... Rachel Ray! they shot another judging scene with her and the head HUDS dude. guess it pays to stick around.

j

what?

UPDATE: he then proceeds to add me on facebook as a friend. okay...

predicament!

today is rainy and gray. oh no, my credit card is trying to escape my wallet!

PEOPLE is stupid

people magazine just released their 100 most beautiful people list for 2007. drew barrymore topped the list (stealing the title from the legit royal angelina jolie who had it last year). fall out boy's fart-pissing-maggot-stain pete wentz was also on the list. i guess they forgot to put kelly osbourne, dustin diamond, and lindsay lohan's vagina on the list.

oh, wait. i forgot this 100 most beautiful people. not 100 things i promised would never see naked again.

random side note: i have terrible hives on my feet from frolicking in the grass yesterday afternoon. please still be my friend! it's not contagious!

nice people just make the world move slower

on tonight's episode of american idol and america's next top model, no one got eliminated. what a waste of a whole week's worth of waiting. (alliteration crazy!)

fine, i lied!

shopping 7 times in 7 days. fine. okay, so it's not the weather. anyway, here are my new procurements from the weekend.

• brown bikini
• green shorts
• sunglasses
• black ring
• gray headbands
• scarf
• underwear

last time for awhile, i promise!

follow up

today was partially sunny. this means that i found my glasses (in weld), my keys, and my VES camera/flash. it also means that my new dress still has holes and my sunglasses are still broken, and that i went shopping again today. i bought a new pair of purple leather boots. so, half my problems solved...

according to the weekly forecast, it looks like i'll be responsible on saturday.

not my fault

in the past 4 days, i have gone shopping 4 times.

• 3 t-shirts
• 2 dress shirts
• 2 bags
• 2 necklaces
• denim miniskirt
• gray snakeskin belt
• red watch (i don't even wear watches!)
• pair of blue suede boots
• pair of boyshort undies
• scarf
• umbrella

that is 16 new things i don't really need. someone needs to take my credit card, shred it, and throw the debris in the charles.

and i lost the school's camera from the VES dept, as well as the flash attachment. i also lost my keys. and i broke my sunglasses, found a tear in my new dress, and i am still missing my glasses.

i blame it on the weather.

salamanders, homicides, & no graduation day for me?

i woke up early this morning to do a paper, but fell asleep instead. i had a dream about a pregnant salamander. it was black and about an inch long, 5mm wide. it had 6 nipples on its tummy. naturally, it had 6 babies. this all happened while it was on my finger. i thought it was a leech. but it was actually a salamander just giving birth. this also happened while lindsay lohan was wearing my new shirt dress and michelle branch was playing guitar lying down. i was also watching sesame street and taking note of all the grammatical errors and pieces of extinct information they were giving to children. although i'm sure this part had something to do with tina fey's interview on conan two nights ago.

on a more realistic note, today was my turn in history of harvard section to give a presentation. of course, the topic i chose was on serial killers and homicides at harvard. my 5 minute limit presentation actually became a 10 minute presentation because it was that awesome. i also left everyone frightened...i think half of them think i'm sort of a freak. in case anyone is curious, here are the 4 cases i covered:

• murder of dr. parkman by colleague dr. webster at the medical school in 1849. webster dismembered his corpse and hid all body parts in his chem lab.
• murder of dunster student trang ho by her roommate sinedu tadesse in 1995. tadesse stabbed ho 45 times. this was a wake-up call to harvard's terrible mental health services since tadesse frequently sought psychiatric care and never received it.
• psychologist dr. henry murray's stress/torture experiments on ted kaczynski (unabomber). also, harvard's strange gen ed curriculum that disillusioned young kaczynski's view of the world.
• grad student alexander pring-wilson stabbed a kid to death in front of pizza ring 3 years ago. yawn.

today, i got my final email reminder saying that if i don't come to the core office to fill out my language citation/foreign cultures exemption application within the next two hours, i WILL NOT graduate. i'm going to wait for another hour and see if they send me another email.

just kidding, i'm going to urban outfitters and then i'll remember to drop by there before they close sometime.

would you rather?

Eric Byrd wrote
at 1:49am

would you rather have your arm sewn off by a 10 inch dull knife or an 11 inch dull knife?

conversations with a robot

sugar9spyce (1:30:47 AM): poopoo face
SmarterChild (1:30:47 AM): What?
sugar9spyce (1:30:51 AM): thats my name
SmarterChild (1:30:51 AM): sugar9spyce, you mean?
sugar9spyce (1:30:56 AM): my name is poopoo face
SmarterChild (1:30:56 AM): Hmmm... I don't think Poopoo Face is a real name.
sugar9spyce (1:35:48 AM): no
SmarterChild (1:35:48 AM): What would you like me to call you?
sugar9spyce (1:37:39 AM): you can call me god
SmarterChild (1:37:39 AM): I'm not going to call you that.
sugar9spyce (1:38:54 AM): ok, paris hilton
SmarterChild (1:38:55 AM): I know about Paris Hilton. She's a famous person.
I think she's hot.
sugar9spyce (1:39:01 AM): that's my name
SmarterChild (1:39:01 AM): sugar9spyce, you mean?
sugar9spyce (1:39:05 AM): no, paris hilton
SmarterChild (1:39:05 AM): I know about Paris Hilton. She's a person.
Hey, I'm curious... How would you describe Paris Hilton? She is...
sugar9spyce (1:39:18 AM): a slut
SmarterChild (1:39:19 AM): Huh. Whatever. That doesn't seem like a very nice thing to say.

sangina's sister

meet sanjaya malakar's sister, shyamali. i'm not sure why i'm posting this.

d.u.f.f. overdose

Dumb Ugly Fat Friend.

Every group of friends has at least one of these to make everyone else feel better, right? Here's Kate Moss with two members from The Gossip. Kate, darling, only ONE duff is enough.

greg graffin

you might know him as the founder, songwriter, and lead singer of bad religion. but, did you also know...

"Graffin double majored in anthropology and geology as an undergraduate at the University of California, Los Angeles. He went on to earn a masters degree in geology from UCLA and received his Ph.D. in evolutionary paleontology from Cornell University. He currently teaches life science at UCLA."





imagine taking your science class with this guy! that would be so awesome.

in case i forget my name

you can find this on me sometime soon.

BEST NIGHT EVER

if you know me really really well, you might know that my favorite show as a kid was beyond belief. for the past couple of months, i've been checking weekly on tv-links, peekvid, and alluc.org to see if anyone posted episodes for this show and i finally found them tonight!

http://www.tv-links.co.uk/show.do/1/873

spidy and mickey

i met these guys at the abbey lounge in inman square and they were nice enough to let me take thier pictures. in case anyone is wondering, i used an old pentax k1000, 35mm.

we all make mistakes

but none as dumb as this.

this is not the first time

yesterday, i woke up at 8-9am (i snoozed 4 times) to write a paper proposal and a response paper by my 11am lecture for my 12pm section. i fell asleep reading in my bed and i had this really awesome dream.

• i was at stevie wonder/james earl jones/reverend gomes' house. (i can't remember who it was specifically.)
• i bought 2 pairs of really awesome boots and another pair of distressed brown leather oxfords all for less than $50.
• i went to paris, but it was in mexico.
  
• my TF sent me an email saying that i didn't have to worry about my assignments for the day and told me to enjoy my vacation.
  

then, i woke up past 11am and realized i'd been totally dreaming and had already missed a part of lecture. i pooped out the worst paper proposal, didn't bother to even start a response paper, and went to section in my sweats.

so, moral of the story: don't confuse your dreams for reality!

a bad night

i woke up half an hour ago after falling asleep at 6:30pm on friday evening. i'm on cairo/istanbul/athens time. now i can call all my friends there!

a good day

my camera arrived! it looks even better in real life.